Lithium

Interesting flick on IFC from a couple of years ago that I hadn't caught before: Last Days - a Gus Van Sant fictional take on the last days of a Kurt Cobain-like character. Young Samuel from Witness all grown up has a role as one of his friends/bandmates. "This gun-of-the-hand ... Touch not the unclean thing and be ye separate, sayth the Lord. Now go do your chores, Samuel." Love Witness! But I digress. Great scene in Last Days with Young Samuel (Lukas Glover) inviting Mormon missionaries into the house, then offering them booze before pouring a drink himself while he listens to their rap. No movie can be bad with the Velvet Underground's Venus in Furs prominently featured!

Speaking of Cobain, Saturday Morning on Comcast Sports Channel is Infomercial Nirvana!

I learned in short order that Arthritis is a national epidemic threatening to eradicate America's youth and that some $19.95 Vitamin D extract was their only hope. Do you know what Vitamin D does for you?? Everything, apparently!! Do it for the Children! Didn't catch the name of this miracle cure before switching back to Last Days.

But I checked back often.

The Insanity Challenge was next: "We don't want to rip you off - we want to get you ripped."

Followed by "how do you get rid of your unwanted Gold and make some money?" Yes, that's always been a problem of mine. Lately, this seemingly straightforward (and seemingly nonsensical) query can be aptly applied to multiple areas of my life (in at least one area, inadvertently making good sense indeed). CashForGold claims they can help. Not likely in the way I need.

This channel even has regular commercials between the infomercials.

And hey! You can now have a perfectly manicured lawn with the Worx GT trimmer! You'll never have to struggle with setting the trim. Not with the Worx GT and its "double helix line"! And powered by a lithium battery. No more hassling with Gas and oil! Gas gets on your clothes and if you enjoy a fine cigar while working outdoors, no more worry about lighting yourself on fire or blowing you and your household to kingdom come! Say you're an alcoholic landscaper? Aren't you tired of the dangers posed by gas-powered equipment with your high BAC, dangling cigarettes and the ever present possibility of passing out on top of the stuff? Fret no more! And Ladies, you don't have to wait around for the husband to get home to trim up the bush because it's so easy! Still, that sounds kind of dangerous to me.

This beats Saturday morning cartoons all to hell. All that was missing was a Billy Mays tribute block.

Time to head out to the driving range and later taking the bike down to Ridley Creek park. Preparing the body mentally for the pain to follow ...