The rain falls down on last year's man

I see Vince of "ShamWow!" Infomercial fame is now hawking a new product, the "Slap Chop". On the surface he looks the same here - better certainly than he looked in his mug shot in March after getting busted for beating up a hooker in South Beach, FLA. But wait just a second. Turn up the sound a bit. Inch closer to the screen. Is there just a hint of a plaintive cry in his obnoxious cackle? Is there just a shadow of a tear rolling down his weasel-like cheekbone? Does he maybe look like he'd rather just curl up in a snuggie and have a good sob?

It could just be the onion that Vince is slap-chopping up but I think it's somehow more than that. He lost a couple of brother shit-slingers after all: pure-play pitchman Billy Mays and part time shills Ed McMahon and Karl Malden (apologies here to Karl, Oscar-winning actor of such classics as On The Water Front and Streetcar Named Desire, but the Amex ads overshadowed his earlier work).

Vince is only human and I'm sure there is a hole in his black heart right now.

Chin up, Vince!

The world needs pitchmen more than ever now to fill that void at 3 in the morning for those that don't have satellite or cable or DVDs or VHS or books or a life or a drug habit.

OxiCleanCodone

I see that Madonna is going to pay tribute to Michael Jackson at an upcoming concert. Good for her. But who is going to pay tribute to T.V. pitchman Billy Mays who also just passed away?

"He sold more OxiClean than Andy Warhol sold Campbell's Soup," cousin Dean Panizzi said in eulogizing Billy Mays and comparing him to the Pittsburgh-born pop artist who turned soup cans into works of art.

Your cousin is one thing - but where are his 'peers'?

Is Vince of ShamWow! fame going to do the honors?

Maybe the Dos Equis 'most interesting man in the world' might say some words: "I don't always buy 'As Seen on TV' products, but when I do, I prefer those from Billy Mays. Rest in Peace, my friend."

With his passing, I may never need to reach for the volume control again. Hopefully, he was a toupee donor and his hairpiece was transplanted to a needy recipient.