Monday, November 16, 2009

"She feeds you Tea and Oranges that come all the way from China" - L. Cohen, 1967

Man, I tell ya - people are blastin' Obama for bowing to the Japanese Emperor.  Come on!  Are we really as a country that stuffed full of Ugly Americans who find any gesture besides an arrogant sneer to be a sign of weakness?  Sadly, it seems that we are.  In fact, in some circles they're calling the bow an "act of treason."  Clearly.  What ever happened to "walk softly and carry a big stick"?  A little sign of respect goes a helluva long way, but there's no convincing those whose diplomatic philosophy is forged through years of study at the feet of Ambassadors John Rambo and Lone Wolf McQuade. Our former president (and vice president and UN ambassador) were strident believers in this school of "thought".

Besides, Japan isn't our new overlord, China is.  We'll really be seeing some bowing in the days ahead.  Given our massive debt to the Red Horde, Barack just might have to turn around and bow in the other direction ("bring out the gimp").  We owe them close to a trillion dollars and I don't imagine playing on their commie sympathies will do the trick ("Oh, debt is so bourgeoisie, Mr. Chairman.  Let's just call it square - you know, between us socialists - wink, wink!").  As Paulie said in Goodfellas, "Fuck you, pay me." 

All this makes it somewhat difficult to point out China's atrocious human rights record when we should be shoving their face in it like a bad doggie who keeps shitting on the carpet.  I'm assuming this is the reason we've been so quiet since ... well, many a moon.  And perhaps why Obama gave the Hello Dalai Lama the cold shoulder recently.  Last I checked, we didn't owe him any money (I don't think he has it to lend).   Oh, well.  You get into bed with the sharks, ya gotta deal with the consequences.

Proving that 'Ugly Americans' don't have to be bad looking, the Ice Queen of the Midnight Sun is jingo jangling her spurs into a gallop as the Going Rouge book tour blazes into a town near you this week. Hillary was yakking on the Sunday talk shows that she'd look forward to coffee with her baked Alaskan sister sometime soon - I smell a View episode for the ages!  Or maybe something a bit more juicy on Jerry Springer.

Wolf Blitzer let us know today that "the best political team on television" was closely following Sarah Mania II.  He added, "Candy Crowley has the book and is reading it as we speak."   Thanks, Wolf.  Good to hear Candy's calling all her exclusive Washington inside sources for the real skinny. She got the book a day early!  I hope she underlines the good parts.  I half expected Wolf to then pause for half a beat followed by the distinctive sound of a toilet flushing off-camera. Ba-Dum.  Rim Shot.  Then Wolf with a sly smile: "Sounds like Candy's finished the book and we'll have her into the situation room for her analysis as soon as she washes her hands." 

But Wolf has about as much of a sense of humor as my lint brush, which makes him funny quite often, but never intentionally.  Don't you go changin', Wolfie.