Saturday, July 18, 2009

Daly and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coats

Boy, the cheese is being applied thick and heavy on ABC's coverage of the British Open: agonizingly long passages of purple prose whispered over wide angled swatches of sea-swept Scottish coastline scenery [Scottish James Earl Jonesish golf whisperer]: "in the land where golf and groundskeepers were born, where kings and kilts and bagpipes and barf-bags share a noble heritage, where the sun and the warmth give way to wind and driving rain, howling like a highlander with his gonads crushed by a caber, we drift back through the sands of time ..." zzzzzzzz - , etc. ad nauseam.

And the endless interviews. And "let's get you caught up on what's happened earlier". No, how about we watch what's happening now. Occasionally, they also have showed some live golf, but that seems almost incidental.

It's all halfhearted anyway. I half expected them to bag it all and simply film Tiger traveling back to Florida instead. "Here we see Tiger at airport Security. He's elected to remove his keys and put them into the tray. He's walking through now. And he's in!"

At least John Daly is keeping the thing dignified with a traditional Scottish outfit that he must have designed himself one morning in the midst of what I imagine is his usual wake-up technicolor yawn into the toilet.

Speaking of colorful, drunken cheese, looks like someone wanted some of Wisconsin's finest on their dog. Problem was she was driving the dog and the yellow stuff must have been chilling in a locked garage icebox. No immediate signs alcohol was a factor but then again, no signs that it wasn't. They don't call it 'Milwaukee's Best' for nothing, after all.

Well, enough of this golf shit - time to head to the driving range and then out for a jog - fun in the sun ...

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