Saturday, July 25, 2009

The least interesting man in the world

I must be the antithesis of the Dos Equis 'most interesting man in the world'. Why else would yours truly be typing into the blogosphere void and watching a repeat of Cops on a lovely summer evening?

The neighborhood is empty - folks must be down at the beach. I hate to use the colloquialism 'down the shore.' If it involves sand, it's a beach. And if they are there, then it would follow that they are @ the beach - they're not down the beach, unless they are down the beach from (south of) you, implying that you are up the beach from (north of) them. All clear?

Having fun yet? Ready to watch paint dry with me?

I should close this post with my take on the Dos Equis 'most interesting man' catchphrase: "I don't drink beer but when I did, I preferred whatever was in front of me. Stay thirsty, my friends."

Speaking of which, you really have to visit this great booze movie web site.

My vote for the very best of soused cinema goes to Billy Wilder's The Lost Weekend, following the trials and tribulations of Mr. Don Birnam, played with cheese by Ray Milland (many years before reaching the summit of his craft as Rosey Grier's right head man). The score is tops, as are the Bellevue/DT/Rats-on-the-walls special effects. And Gloria, with her loathsome abbreviations. Just leave me my vicious circles, Nat.

Close second is Mickey Rourke's triple hamtastic ('on rye') spin as Charles Bukowsi's alter-ego Henry Chinaski in Barfly. 'Empty bottle. Broken Glass. Euphoria!' Lilly: 'Anyone can be a drunk.' Henry: 'Anyone can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance.'

Coming in to show at third is Leaving Las Vegas ('Have you been drinking all day?' 'But of course!'). Ben Sanderson, Sera, and Gooey Blender Drinks. Terri: 'Maybe you shouldn't drink so much.' Ben: 'Maybe I shouldn't breathe so much, Terri - Ha Ha!'

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